My 2002 wrap-up. I started 2002 standing on the roof of an off-licence in Hackney, off my tits on chardonnay, shouting at the passing traffic. Set the tone for the rest of the year, really.

What happened to me this year?

January featured my 25th birthday, complete with big party in a bar in Kensington and too many shots of Aftershock.

In February and March I had an abortive, short-lived "thing" with a sick guy called Mark who had ME and who now has a starring role in one of my amusing anecdotes after I thought I'd shagged him to death.

In March I also joined a gym and realised just quite how fat I'd got post-ex, what with all the partying, and 30 JDCs a week, and what have you.

In April, a guy from Edinburgh answered my personal ad, and we got on brilliantly right from the start. But neither of us thought anything would come of it because we were 400 miles apart.

In May, I went to Amsterdam with my friend KT for Queen's Day, where we drank a lot of beer and were offered neither sex nor drugs. Boo!

In June, the guy from Edinburgh flew to London to meet me. We were in bed within 5 hours and a couple 24 hours after that.

In July, August and September, C and I practically bankrupted ourselves visiting each other every two weeks, along with several-hour phone calls every night. At the end of September, C sold his house and started looking for a flat in London.

In October, I flew up to Edinburgh, helped C pack all his stuff into his car and drove down to London with him in a cool two-day road trip (including an obligatory night in a dodgy hotel).

In November I finally got used to the idea of having a boyfriend around full-time. And kinda liked it ;-)

I don't seem to recall anything specific about December. Apart from getting fat again.

Of course, those are just "the facts". At times un-pinnable this year I also did a whole load of things for the first time: fucked a guy with a strap-on; got fucked up the ass myself for the first time; was forced to confront my questions and qualms and queries on marriage seriously for the first time. A lot of weird stuff has happened to me, and I've been made to think about things I never thought I'd have to think about. It's been a truly mad year. Come to think of it, so was 2001. And the year before... No settling down for me then ;-)

C and I spent NYE round at KT's, getting pleasantly tipsy on cocktails and gin, and playing Truth-or-Dare Jenga. After the new year made its appearance we bedded down in a sleeping bag on the floor and canoodled like drunken teenagers.

Today I went into a salon on a whim and had my long, frizzy, badly-dyed mane all cut off. So for your viewing pleasure, here's me, 2003 model:

...completely makeupless and braless, but I needed to get the photo taken now because it'll be back to being the usual frizzy mess tomorrow morning. Hmm, I wonder if I look like how you all imagined I'd look? ;-) Yeah, I'm no picture, it's true. All those guys only wanted me for my great rack ;-) And even C did at first, as he admitted it was the "nice tits" line in my personal ad that attracted him at first (I guess it was my sparkling wit that lured him down to London!!).

Happy 2003. Here's hoping it's even better than the last year gone :-)