Ever insightful, he pointed out that a big problem is that right now, I don't really know what I want. He's pretty clear on it: he doesn't want to fuck around, he'd rather have friends with whom he also has sex, and to that end things with K are working out nicely. Not that they've slept together yet, but they email or chat daily, and when they met up last Friday they got on really well.

As for me: well, I guess I'd rather be friends with the people I sleep with, but unlike C (who's never really done the zipless fuck thing) I'm not averse to fucking first, befriending later. C can't relate to that, which is one of the reasons he pulled out on Sunday (he doesn't feel at all close to Bill & Ben, and doesn't fancy them; whereas I fancy the pants off them, and could see them becoming friends given a bit more time).

Ah fuck it. I wrote the above earlier, and since then I've spent a lunchtime sitting in the sun, chilled a little, cleared my thoughts, and decided I sweat the small stuff way too much (no shit).

If the thing with Bill & Ben dies, I'll be upset, sure, and it might take me a while to get over (my crush on the ex-Pro skater lingered, that's for sure, but it went away eventually), but there you go. I don't need to "keep up" with C, this isn't about points-scoring. And hell, I had *a* foursome, and that's more than most people ;-)

Fuck, I forgot to go buy Vulcan.