Well, I am now the proud owner of my first porn video.

Yes, up until now I didn't own any, and neither did C. Even though hardcore became legal here in the UK a few years back, it's still not that easy to get your mitts on any (especially if you're female) as it's only sold in licensed shops or by mail-order. And, as far as I know, it's virtually impossible to rent pornos in the same way you can in the USA.

Last night, C picked me up from college and we decided, spur-of-the-moment, to go into the West End for some food. I took him to Busaba on Wardour Street, which is my favourite restaurant. I think C was impressed - he had Thom Kha Salmon and I had my usual Thom Kha Chicken with chilli prawns on the side. Nice.

Afterwards, we headed back to Shaftesbury Avenue via Brewer Street, which is probably one of the sleazier streets in Soho. We were there accidentally-on-purpose, I guess, since for a while we've been planning to go into Soho to buy some porn, but haven't got round to it. We passed a large bookshop with a neon sign advertising an "adult" section in the basement, so we decided to go in for a look.

At first I was worried that we made a right scruffy pair. Me in my art-class jeans, covered in grey pastel smudges, and my "criminal fraternity" beanie hat; him with his hair not done, anorak and glasses. The two guys in the upstairs part of the shop looked at us strangely as we came in, then even more strangely as we went out the back and then downstairs.

In the basement there were several other guys - all older, and a couple wearing the classic dirty old man uniform of a trenchcoat and sandals (in November!). But also down there - blimey! More porn videos and DVDs than I've ever seen before! And magazines, graphic novels, books... all catering to every kink going.

C an I didn't really know what we were looking for, video-wise, since we haven't read very many decent porn reviews. He & I didn't really want to fork out �20 on some kind of 'teens-do-anal-for-the-first-time volume #27' type video, only to find it's a bit duff.

As an aside: I'm having real problems finding decent porn reviews. rec.arts.movies.erotica has some great ones, but then the films are US releases and we usually can't find them over here (at least, not in the mail-order catalogues). Bizarre magazine has "porn reviews", but they're shite. This month, for example, they were reviewing Bend Over Boyfriend #2, which I was looking forward to reading about. Only... the (straighter than straight) reviewer didn't review it because he "didn't want to see that kind of shit", and said he was only interested in videos with girls doing anal. Gee, thanks. Cater for the rest of us, why don't you. Dickhead.

Anyway, I didn't see any of the Bend Over Boyfriend series in the shop last night, either, but I hope somewhere has them, because both C and I want to see them. Knowing your average porn shop owner, they'll probably wind up in the "gay" section (doh!).

On with the story. We left that shop empty-handed, but suitably impressed at the sheer number of videos they had (as well as thinking that we should probably get a DVD player as the shop had far more DVDs than videos). We carried on down the street and came to Pirate, a shop I've passed a few times but haven't gone into. So we went in.

Now, this was better. No shifty looking guys eyeing us from behind the counter and a dingy basement, but rather a bright open-plan shop with loud reggae music playing and a very jolly Afro-Caribbean guy on the door.

Pirate had a lot of stuff - toys, magazines, clothes and videos. C and I took a look at their (overpriced) collars and things. He expressed a particular interest in a device for the cock & balls, consisting of metal rings and leather straps. Well, you never know - if he's been a good boy Santa might be nice to him this year ;-)

He also liked a purple thong, with a zip on the "pouch" and a douple-strap back that leaves the guy's ass "accessible". That I liked muchly, so I think C will be finding one in his stocking this Christmas! C's quite into the idea of wearing thongs, and has ordered himself a Calvin Klein one from Figleaves. Can't wait to see him in it!!

After that, we looked at the videos. Pretty much the same selection of hardcore as in the previous shop, but they also had a "classic" section which I gravitated to immediately. They had a lot of the really famous films from the 70s and early 80s - Deep Throat, Devil in Miss Jones etc. I decided that a classic would be the best thing for my first porn movie experience, so I picked out Debbie Does Dallas and handed over my �20.

C and I haven't watched it yet - by the time we made it home last night it was pretty late and we were both tired. But rest assured, I am skipping circuit training tonight to watch porn. I can't wait!! I will no longer be a porno virgin :-)

I have no idea what watching a porno with C will be like. Weird, to say the least. Cool, I hope. Fun, I know.

Oh yeah - on the way to the restaurant C and I were discussing fetish outfits. He's really into the idea of us going to a fetish club sometime, and even has an outfit in mind already: shiny leather or PVC chaps, with his butt exposed, and a tight mesh t-shirt showing off his (soon to be pierced) nipples. And a collar, of course.

Did I mention that my boyfriend is a dirty bitch? ;-)