I'm going to write loads of entries today, cos I'm in slack-mode. I'd advise that you check out the "Missed anything?" section below, just in case you missed anything.

So like, I'm wondering about our office Christmas party. We've been told it's on the 20th December, but as yet nothing has been booked. Um, OK. It's now the 6th. They're not going to be able to book anything, are they?

I suspect we're going to end up with a couple of bottles of vino in the downstairs office and some shitty CDs on the CD player. And we don't even have a photocopier to copy our arses on!

Last year, they also left it until the last minute, but the night turned out brilliantly because we had a great head of Ops back then, who knew how to party. Sadly, he's now left (due to not getting on with Cunty Boss^TM) and the company has never been the same without him.

Last year, the party was on 7th December (way too early, but that didn't matter) and initially we thought it was going to be a bit shit. We'd just had a room above a pub booked for us, with finger food laid on, �1000 behind the bar (that's not much for 50-odd people, I assure you!!) and "Secret Santa" presents bought by all.

However, that evening has become legendary.

First, the Secret Santa. Our then-CFO received a butt plug. How we laughed!

Then, the then-CEO got kicked out of the party for arguing with the pub staff. Kicked out of his own company's Xmas party! That has to be a classic. We carried on partying without him, the miserable Belgian sod.

The �1000 tab ran out after about an hour and a half, mainly due to most of development doing tequila shots (me included). We managed to persuade the (drunk) CFO to put another �500 on it - if I recall correctly - and we drank that one in about two hours.

Once we were all totally paralytic, the three members of the German office present cajoled us into a sing-song auf Deutch. Then our Norwegian, speech-impaired, colleague got on a chair and told us all how he was a "wiking", come to the UK to "wape and plunder, WAPE and PLUNDER!!!". The head of Ops eventually carried him off in a fireman's lift.

Later on, the same Norwegian colleague told me he wanted to give me the "fuck of the century". That joke is still going even now, and behind his back we all refer to him as "Mr Fuck-of-the-century" ;-) (No, I didn't take him up on it).

At 11pm the pub closed, and we all got kicked out. One of our Swedish guys fell down a flight of stairs coming out of the pub, and knocked himself unconscious. How we laughed!

Then we stopped laughing when it transpired he'd kinda fucked up his face. Oops. He's OK now though (phew!).

After the aforementioned colleague was taken away by the ambulance, the head of Ops took us all down to a youth hostel in Queensway which had a bar open until 4am. It was packed. We drank more tequila. The CEO re-appeared. We started dancing on the tables. There are photos of me dirty dancing on a table with one of the line managers. I had my groove on, baby!

At about 2am I decided to leave, sharing a cab with our token gay developer. We did a bunch of bonding in the back seat, and I told him all about the colleague I'd slept with. He was so jealous. Thankfully, he'd forgotten all about it by the following Monday, so my secret is still safe!

*sigh* Happy memories. Except for the bit where Hans broke his face... If I leave this company, I'll be leaving some good times behind.

However, since the old head of Ops left, and we haemorrhaged most of the other cool guys, it's not really been the same. I think this year's party is going to be shite. There's not the atmosphere here that there used to be. Boo :-(

However, I am meeting up with my old line manager for drinks on the 18th, and I think that'll be a riot (maybe I should pe-book the ambulance...).