Aaaaahhhhhhh! I have had Darius stuck in my head for days! At the moment it's "Colourblind", but occasionally it's "Rushes". Somebody help me before I go insane!!!

Oh no, back to "Rushes".

*sob*

I shall try to update in the midst of catchy-tune-ness.

You're going to have to allow me another work rant.

My main problem with this job is the lack of support. As well as being understaffed, the more senior staff we do have are, well, difficult to work with.

I deal with one of the other line managers more than I do my own. This is due to my old line manager leaving, and to save the company employing someone else they decided to shunt me (and one other) into another team. The line manager I have now is great but doesn't really know much about what I do.

The line manager I do deal with is a royal pain in the rear.

He's just turned 25. This is of note because, while he's a brilliant programmer and responsible for a lot of our company's technical architecture, he is at the same time completely immature. He has no idea how to handle people.

I occasionally get bug reports from him with sneering little comments attached along the lines of: "Someone didn't test their code, did they? Let's do it right next time, and stop wasting [his team]'s time". Nice, huh? Seems us lowly, untrained, doing-a-job-I-wasn't-hired-to-do junior programmers aren't allowed to make mistakes.

He's also the sort of person who can't be bothered to sit down and help you with something (which I often need, since I trying to fill the gap an experienced Java programmer left, without any sort of relevant training). Instead, he'll just say "Well, you'll just have to learn how to do it", or he'll say "Oh for god's sake, I'll do it", and not let you in on how he's doing it. Then he complains that he's overworked, and that we're not picking up skills and techniques. Is it any wonder, when he's so totally unapproachable?

It's got to the point now where I'd rather sit behind my monitor and stew, and try to figure stuff out for days, and get so frustrated with my uselessness, than ask for help for fear of getting biting comments. And this occasionally delays projects (not hugely, but I'm not doing things as quickly as I could). And while I know I shouldn't be such a wimp, it's not easy when all around you people are totally absorbed in themselves and their genius, and look down at you when you ask stupid questions (IMHO, there are no such things as stupid questions anyway).

Ironically, Mr Immature Line Manager is actually a lovely guy when you get him out of the office. We've been for beers together a few times, and he's a laugh. He's just a little Nazi when he's behind his desk.

He's not the only one, of course. I remember once going out with a group from work, and somehow the issue of corporate entertaining expenses at work came up. Apparently the bill in 2001 was something like �12,000, and I remarked off-hand that for that money, they could pay for another developer for 6 months and take some of the heat off us. Somebody snorted and said "Yeah, a really shit developer!". Much laughing ensued. Except me, of course, realising that I'm probably just a shit developer.

(I'm not, of course, I'm just paid like one.)

OK, I need out of this job in the New Year. Fresh start, and all that.

Some people would probably say that I'm just not cut-out for the testosterone-fuelled competition that is working in IT. Thing is, I'm sure I am because I've been fine in all my other IT jobs (except the one I walked out of because the managing director kept on hugging me and asking how many people I'd slept with *shudder*). And this job was just hunky-dory until we started losing developers to superior companies faster than rats off a sinking ship. Hmm, good analogy, really. I don't think this company is going down the pan just yet, but if they want to survive then they really have to look inwards at their staff, rather than just looking outwards for new commissions.

Oh, and you know I was complaining about a lack of Xmas party on the horizon? Well, it's been arranged. It's going to be at a place called "Shish" in Willesden Green.

Hmm.

"Shish".

I can't help feeling they've booked a kebab shop for our party. And that the "buffet food" we've been promised will be freshly carved from the big spinning elephant leg behind the counter. Hurrah.

Well, at least there will be (some) free alcohol.

I don't know. Sometimes my life seems like a comedy. "What's this, boss?" "It's a large doner with extra chilli sauce. Happy Christmas, suckers!" [canned laughter]. Hmmm.

My hun flies back from Edinburgh tonight, so I'm skipping the pub and going to Gatwick to meet him instead. He doesn't know yet :-)