According to the ultrasound, there are 'no suspicious masses' in my abdomen. Which is good news, I guess - but also a bit weird because in that case, what's causing the pain? Apparently the ultrasound can't see everything, though, but what they did see looked normal.

I guess it's on to round 2, the gynae appointment, whenever that's going to be.

And I didn't get any pictures - they were all of amorphous blobs, so they weren't worth asking for.

I also got my period yesterday, which means today I'm gingerly walking around, feeling as if I have a brick sitting on my pelvic floor. I have period pain, sure, but the thing that makes my periods almost unbearable is the feeling like my whole lower abdomen is about to burst. And I feel like (please excuse the gratuitous of this) I need to go for a dump constantly. I know I don't need to, but at the same time I can't bring myself to stray from the toilet. And when I do give in and go, I sit there for 5 minutes, and then it's as if my bowel's saying "Ha! Fooled you! Now can we go back upstairs and sit on the comfy chair again?". Fucking stupid body.

Forgive me anthromorphising my bowel. A little humour helps me get through the day, you know? And besides, nobody talks enough about bottom issues. What is it they say about opinions and assholes?

The fact that I feel this way, and the fact that it feels as if someone's stabbing me in the derriere when I do go during my period, and the fact that I've managed to freak myself out a bit by reading about endometriosis on the bowel online, and the fact that the ultrasound showed a normal uterus and ovaries, are all leading me to think maybe I have something up with my general behind area. Which would suck, because bum-related medical conditions are scary. But I'm just making guesses, and freaking myself out. I'm not a doctor and neither do I play one on TV.

What I do know, though, is that mysterious pain that sent me to A&E the other week came back briefly on Wednesday night (and made me cry in the middle of Piccadilly Circus - great). My periods are heavy and painful; I have the aforementioned bottom issues; sex is occasionally painful; I have major-league ovulation cramps every month; I get mysterious shoulder pains during my period (which I think I wrote about a few months back); and, well, I'm just generally kinda pissed off at the whole woman's body thing. Next time, I'm coming back as a boy. A cute one.

In other news, I'm going to see Anthrax at the Astoria tonight. I don't think I've ever heard any Anthrax, and I have no idea if I'll like them, but my old Uni mate CSD wanted me to go and I haven't seen him for ages. Last year he came with me to see Rival Schools when I didn't have a date, so I owe him one :-)

C is going out for drinks with his new (temporary) workmates tonight. He got dressed in my current favourite (on him) very close-fitting beige t-shirt and blue cords this morning, and I remarked that you can quite clearly see his nipple and navel piercings through the shirt. I wonder what his workmates will make of it?

I swear, he's getting more and more camp by the day. Dancing camply to the Junior Senior single around my flat. Cutting pictures of Turin Brakes out of magazines and blu-tacking them to my kitchen units. Generally giggling and acting like a big girl. I'm going to have to start referring to him as My Big Gay Boyfriend. Of course, I think it's amusing and love him more and more every day. The only thing that's worrying me, I guess, is that he'll find himself getting beaten up (or worse) for who he is. I've insisted on vetting and having the power of veto on anyone he decides to hook up with (he hasn't yet - but not for want of trying) because I'm worried that he'll meet someone who's just out to 'beat up fags'. When I was talking to K the other week, he told me how he'd almost been raped on one occasion. Naturally, I don't want any bad things to happen to my sweetie. But that's the only objection I have to him meeting guys - I still (surprisingly) haven't felt any jealousy.

Anyway, I have softcore to encode, and at lunchtime we're going to be smoking some skunk in honour of our last boss-free day. Hurrah!