I hope the last entry didn't make it sound like I'm peeved with C. I'm not. I know he was grateful that I was OK with cancelling, and I'm grateful that he understood why I was mopey about it (he said he'd feel the same way if the tables were turned). I don't think I could have forgiven myself if he'd gone through with it and hated himself (or me) afterwards.

So, I went to the dentist today and got my first round of fillings, filling the erosion that I've caused in my teeth through brushing too hard. It was unpleasant, and I left the surgery feeling like I'd been smacked in the mouth (they had to numb my gum and lip on the right side). The feeling has finally come back, but not before I spent the afternoon drinking water through a straw, only to have it fall out of my mouth again. Classy. I also managed to bite the hell out of my lip because I couldn't feel it. I feel it now. Oh, how I do.

The end result looks nice, though. I go back on July 8th to have the left side done *joy*

Some other stuff I failed to talk about before.

When out with KT on Thursday, the conversation turned round to sex (as always). Highlight of the evening: me taking both her hands outside the Bricklayer's Arms and practically squealing "...and while he was in Sainsbury's, some woman offered him sex for �20, and he took her up on it!". Lord knows that the regulars thought.

She & I both agree that straight women seem to be lowest on the pecking order when it comes to matters of sex and porno, especially when you're a straight woman like myself & KT. I'm glad I'm not the only one with this grumble.

We also spent ages in Pizza Express on Charlotte Street talking very loudly and animatedly about vibrating cock rings and "bottom sex". She needs a new, longer dildo to fuck her sweetie with. I recommended a vibrating cock ring, because mine (purchased to be worn inside the strap-on harness) is the nads.

(Aside: I have noted that Soho Bookshop on Brewers Street has copies of Vulcan. I am going there tomorrow lunchtime to buy my first gay hardcore porno mag. Woohoo!).

Then, Friday with CSD. Great evening, but I kinda mucked it up by drunkenly bringing up the crush he had on me back at Uni. Which he still seems to harbour, six years on. Oops. I suppose I should have been more delicate, but that's not my style.

One of our mutual friends is getting hitched this August - a guy we'd never thought of as the marrying kind. CSD asked me why I don't want to get married, and I told him I don't really know. He told me I'd probably feel differently if someone actually asked me. Heh. This coming from a 25 year old guy who's never had a girlfriend (not that that totally excludes him from commenting, but still....).

He knows I'm snipped, and respects that, but he can't get his head around the other thing. I told him there are two scenarios where I would get hitched: 1) if it was totally legally unavoidable (e.g. if I was about to snuff it and terrible things would happen if I wasn't married); or 2) if they finally reform the marriage laws and let everyone do it if they want (with a caveat that they change the laws so that you could get married and declare yourselves partners or spouses, instead of the H&W you have to do now). Both scenarios, of course, dependant that I don't have to get my family involved.

Talking of which: after having taken C to visit my parents the other week, my Mum has started on the "Shall I buy a hat?" questions again. Two emails asking the same thing this weekend alone! A record.

Bill & Ben haven't replied to our govelling apology email yet. I hope to dog I still get to see them, because I feel like I hit the jackpot and had it revoked at the last minute. C has been pre-warned that if they don't want to carry on any sort of friendship, I'll go into full crush-mourning mode. Which is not pretty.

I always expect the worst. Heh.